now that's progressive!

My cousin Abby, who is my little brothers age, came over today. I was in bed vaguely listening to the two of them screaming about wars and dinosaurs, when I heard her say "Let's play doctor!" Although I hadn't ever played that when I was little, I TOTALLY knew the implications of that game. I tried to overhear them, in case I needed to interfere, but I soon learned that the game had involved into something much less scandalous but equally frightening:

Dr. Abby: What seems to be the problem, Mr. Alex?

Alex: My nose fell off!!!

Dr. Abby: Oh no...there seems to be a problem. Your insurance only covers you from the mouth down! I'm afraid I can't help you. Goodbye Mr. Alex.

Alex: Goodbye Dr. Abby.

peachy?

This summer I worked a second job for this exceptionally rich, exceptionally sweet old lady doing various outdoorsy, gardening-type chores. I thought I would hate it because I had to wake up early each day and by the end of it I would be drenched in sweat, but it turned out to be more lovely than I imagined. She had a little farm, with figs, peaches, cherries, and various vegetables and flowers. I would wander around and practice my daydreaming, which I've now been able to slip into with a bit too much ease. I would often do my daydreaming by the fruit trees...there's just something a bit magical about growing fruits, to me at least. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the hunger, maybe it was the pesticides, maybe it was the thrill of stealing or my newly recovered imagination, but I have never tasted a more delicious peach.

Hold it in

When the dog starts barking for no apparent reason it's safe to assume that he has to poop. Either that or there's a ghost in the kitchen. Since I'm obedient and loyal I take him out to do his business. I'm supposed to go to the back yard and make sure he dumps it by the edge of the woods but depending on my mood I might just take him to the front yard and hope my mother doesn't notice the shit in her garden. I took him to the back today and remembered what an awful, weedy mess that place is. In the summertime the mosquitoes go nuts back there and while I watched Peter squat in the bushes I was swarmed by little vampires. A bite on my neck, a bite on my arm and a bite on my leg. I was out there for three minutes!

I can only come to the conclusion that my blood is exceptionally tasty. And now I wait for Edward Cullen to whisk me away.

Whatever, I do what I want!

My weekend was dedicated to domestic bliss and I say that in a totally un-ironic/un-sarcastic way. Sometimes I hibernate at home. And by hibernate I mean help mom in garden, do the dishes, go grocery shopping, walk the dog and pick out a good looking recipe for dinner (Salad Nicoise). I even managed to paint my nails properly. They are now Pink Breeze.

I don't know exactly what point I'm trying to prove here. Maybe that it's kinda lame to stay at home all weekend but putting coolness aside I find great pleasure in doing housewife-like tasks every once in a while.

I feel weird saying it too because, well, I'm only a seventeen year old girl who, for the most part, fantasizes about the glamorous and sophisticated city-life waiting for me in the future and in terms of 1950s housewife ideals I become insanely defensive in a no-shave feminist sort of way...not to mention I dislike the idea of cookie cutter suburban communities (my Weeds addiction doesn't help) AND I just watched Revolutionary Road last night-the ultimate HORROR movie in terms of domesticity...

The point is, I sometimes like "playing house" if only for a little while.

Diet plan

I think I have food poisoning. I haven't been hungry for a long time. I feel like I could go my entire life without ever eating again. No it's not an eating disorder, and yes I am eating despite my lack of appetite. I just thought I would share this odd feeling. I suppose this is what it's like to be a machine. Although I do need sleep. Sleeping beauty slept forever without eating. Maybe she ate the lox I had for breakfast yesterday morning?

Infinite Jest update:
I'm on page 185. So 796 pages left (not including footnotes)! I keep picking up "toughen-up" mottoes that seem to make perfect sense. A lot of the quotations are for the insane tennis players in the book and although I'm not exactly athletic, I could easily have an athletic mind-set.
(Not necessarily) good life lessons for the day:
"What is unfair can be a stern and invaluable teacher."-IJ

"If you are an adolescent, here is the trick to being neither quite a nerd nor quite a jock: be no one. It is easier than you think."

"Please learn the pragmatics of expressing fear: sometimes words that seem to express really invoke."

Oh say can you see

happy birthday America. I'm getting along fine with the book, thank you very much. I took it to the ocean yesterday and it survived the sand, the water and my smelly messy dog stepping all over. So far the book is really funny but at times difficult. The best way to approach the book is with ETA's former motto:
TE OCCIDERE POSSUNT SED TE EDERE NON POSSUNT NEFAS EST*

*since I failed latin my Junior year, the only reason I know the translation is because it is footnote 32: They can kill you but the legalities of eating you are quite a bit dicier.

the old switcharoo

Updates (from Danielle's side of the 100 acre woods)

1) I've been in and out of various pools and graduation parties and hosted a lovely little breakfast for the neighbors. On the menu were a variety of bagels, three different kinds of cream cheeses, scrambled eggs, salmon, bready quiche made by Mallory's mom, fruit salad, and apple strudels. I would've liked to have it be like the wild brunch on the upper east side complete with lobster, caviar, champagne, frills, and a heady dose of drama: but unfortunately I have neither the funds nor the queen blair-ness to command something like that.

2) I'm practicing daydreaming again. I used to be quite the pro, but as I entered high school and got some real friends and a real life I stopped and now I find I can't daydream without simply  getting distracted from my daydream and zoning out and thinking about nothing. Not being able to focus on daydreaming is a sad thing indeed. I prefer daydreaming because I feel like it is a bit of a less waste of time then zoning out. Picking my evil, I am.

3) I leave for orientation at George Washington University (is every school I attend doomed to be a mouthful?) tomorrow morning at 5. Maybe I'll meet fantastic witty people. Then again maybe those people might meet me ;)

4) I'm more and more pumped for the new Harry Potter movie every day. Fight back, you coward!