Monday, July 19, 2010

The shitty movie to shitty critic ratio is 1:10

I watched Youth in Revolt this weekend with my boyfriend. The weekend was fabulous. The movie? Dry, pretentious and fucking annoying. And so, whenever I watch a bad movie I like to hit up RottenTomatoes to read nasty reviews which are easily my favorite kind of reviews. Why? Because I thrive on hatred? No. Because I like it when people agree with me.

Anyways I couldn't help but notice the numerous times a critic has name dropped Holden Caulfield in reference to any other rebellious youth in the history of rebellious youths. Quote: your average Holden Caulfield fanatic will find his tale fun


So in the name of any proper Catcher in the Rye defender, I have to say what the fuck. Seriously? It's offensive but most of all it's just lazy. I'm not going to get into details about why Micheal Cera's turd-faced character is nothing like The Catcher in the Rye's but if movie critics are going to claim to be writers than they should start acting like them. That means referring to literary characters with a level of intelligence beyond Spark Notes. You wouldn't write about how fans of Lolita will find the pedophile in Little Children familiar so don't fuck up with Holden Caulfield.

What I'm saying is if Nick Twisp is Holden Caulfield than that little black dog really is Albert Camus.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

gay

This blog post was going to be about summer updates but you know what I feel like writing about? EFFING DYKES

Can somebody please explain to me why I love this website so much? Why do I have such a blast reading about this promiscuous lesbian?

I was thinking it had something to do with that weird study they did a while ago where scientists (probably gay, btw) found out homophobes were secretly turned on by man on man action.

But I'm not a homophobe.

I root for gay people in the way that I root for any minority group struggling for human rights.
I mean...

I don't LOVE THE GAYS because I'm SOOOOO OPEN MINDED AND OMG I HAVE A BEST GAY FRIEND WHO DOES MY HAIR AND GIVES ME SHOPPING TIPS AND IS SASSY AND AMAZING AND HE'S MINE AND I OWN HIM OH AND LESBIANS ARE COOL TOO EVEN THE ONES I DRUNKENLY KISS AT PARTIES BECAUSE GUYS FIND IT HOT.

where was I...

Oh yeah. Anyways this isn't about her being gay...actually it is. Mostly, she's hilarious and a great writer and is a pro at finding cool pictures on the internet to enhance posts. But I know a secret part of me is fascinated by this lifestyle that I will never be a part of. She loves women so much...it's flattering! Krista talks about fucking and fantasizing about women. But she's a girl, so it's not disgusting or piglike. This is not a double standard because effing dykes talks about women in a way that straight girls WISH straight men would talk about women. Is that confusing?



What I'm saying is...it's nice to be worshiped and awe-inspiring and desired and loved. So... much love to those who love.
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