Monday, February 23, 2009

And the Mallory goes to...

With the Oscars on last night, it seems that all this pop culture has just vomited all over my brain. And so I've been thinking about celebrities I really want to know. I might be a teenage girl, but I'm not that into heartthrobs (with the exception of Ed Westwick, but don't get me started) so here are the top three famous people that I would eagerly take on a strictly platonic lunch date.

Sean Penn: I don't care what people say about this nut job, I like him immensely BECAUSE of his absurdity. And he was so beautiful in Milk that I will always forgive him.

Mos Def: I was watching this documentary on Richard Pryor, and every time Mos Def came on I felt like hugging him. I just swear he's nice.

Jon Stewart: This wouldn't be platonic. I'm hardcore crushing on this man for obvious reasons.

surprise interaction: who would be your top three celebrity platonic dream dates?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I just discovered wordle (a "word cloud" generator) and I've been brainstorming what text I should use. I've considered poems and quotes and my favorite things, but most of those things are already pleasant. The thing with wordle is that it can make ANYTHING beautiful, so why waste it on words that are already lovely? So instead, I thought of the most unfascinating thing I could think of and made it pretty: an explanation of BINARY CODE. Enjoy.

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alt="Wordle: binary code"
style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd">

Monday, February 9, 2009

do you like your women late and cheap?

This is going to be a new irregularly updated (aka whenever I feel like it) segment where I scan the shit I find in my pocket at the end of the day. I'm a very mysterious girl and my pocket treasure may help you find out more about me:

Today's findings include:
tardy slip
bagel with coupon usage

If you're a bird, I'm a bird!

Because I am one lazy BAMF I've been shirking on my posts and copying my old poems and other such things to avoid having to think of a decent post for the interwebs. I promise this will end after this post because I have run out of poems. Yes, they made me and my friends laugh and hopefully made other readers smile, but flaunting my youthful stupidity has gone on long enough. Good-bye old dreams of literary fame!

However, this next and last poem I'm posting was my magnum opus, my chef d'oeuvre, my tour de force, the one I knew would propel me into the world of prose. It's a long one, but at age 14, my heart was full of long thoughts. The weird thing is I don't think I had a boyfriend at the time, so I don't really know what I was jabbering on about. Well, I was a wise one! I should have paid attention to my terrible metaphor several months later!

Clipped Wings (Winds of Delight)

I saw a bird
in the deep of the night
spread its white wings
and swiftly take flight.

I wept silent tears
for what never could be
for fate cruel and fierce,
and for those that fly free.

For once I was a bird,
white, perfect, and pure,
'til I was cast down
by Love's sweet allure

Drawn by things that might be,
by things that once were,
I threw caution to the wind,
and my life began to blur.

With promises half-kept,
and sweet words untrue,
I fought with myself,
tried to hide what I knew:

"True love should not
clip my wings of flight,
but should instead soar with me
as the winds of delight."

say playlist one more time and I swear...

Here are three facts about me that make the statement I am about to make seem impossible: I love my music, I am fairly well organized, and I make pretty fantastic mix-cds (which I create as pleasant surprises for my friends...but that's another story)

Now the statement I want to make is this: NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T MAKE A PLAYLIST on iTunes.

It's not that I'm physically incapable, but for some reason whenever I try to create a compilation of songs so that I'm not stuck wondering what to listen to, I just give up or end up deleting it. About every two weeks I have a set list of songs that I listen to over and over again and then move onto the next batch, and it would make sense to just create a goddamn playlist! I want to utilize my iPod to the best of its ability and simplify my life. I can imagine having tons of lovely playlists, each with clever names. I've even considered organizing it in different categories like the best of each genre, or by appropriate season but holy crap I just end up deleting it after minutes of wasted scrutiny.

It doesn't help that GENIUS playlist and PARTY SHUFFLE (sounds like a dance move) playlist are all up in my grill telling me that a computer can create a shitty playlist and not have the obsessive need to delete it immediately.

And you know what makes this rant especially crazy? Deep down in my heart I know why I can't create a playlist. DEEP DEEP down I believe that if I create this disgusting list of elite songs I will snub the other ones. The ones I don't listen to everyday (you sons of bitches know who you are!), the ones that come out of nowhere on my shuffle and surprise me with their subtle beauty and sneaky charm. Oh my heart aches knowing I don't pay attention to you. You're all important and I love you all!

**I do have a Christmas playlist that doesn't count because a blind monkey could organize their Christmas songs.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

If only Tumnus were around the corner

Groundhog says six more weeks of winter so I'm not that surprised that it's snowing today. Since my backyard is a mess of trees the snow turns it into the beautiful, inspiring NARNIA:

No photos can do it justice (guess which one I didn't take) so just step into your wardrobe or something.