because I can

I think I'll like making lists of five things, SO here is a list of five instruments that my 8-year-old self thought my 18-year-old self should have complete mastery of by now:

1. The Piano (check! Kinda, not really. I gave up)
2. The Glockenspiel (I am totally impressed that my 8-year-old self knew what that was)
3. The Saxophone (I don't think I have enough jazz in my soul to pull this one off without coming across as a total tool/nerd)
4. The Guitar (I can strum like three chords, but not without whining about the strings cutting into my fingers. I'm a baby)
5. The Kazoo (I still have hope!)

My 8-year-old self is shaking its head in disappointment at my current self. Sorry little dude(ette).

Home is wherever I'm with you

It's awfully late but I guess that doesn't matter when you're waiting for a boy
especially one who smells good and makes you laugh and holds your hand in his pocket since it's terribly cold outside.

It's cold inside too. I'm back in Princeton for a good while and the house is never a comfortable temperature. Thank god for flannel. Anyways to get to my point: I'm back.
Surprisingly a semester of college doesn't mean my mom can't boss me around anymore. She'll still drive me to Danielle's house tomorrow and tell me to do the dishes.
I'll end with a cliche: Some things never change

survival of the fittest...or the laziest

There are so many projects to be started and abandoned, so I'm proposing a new one for myself: weird shit I eat. Now that I'm in college and I can't rely on those trusty ingredients in the kitchen cabinet, I have to make do with the weird things I can scrounge up at 2 am when my stomach starts making the grumblies that only hands can satisfy. 

I know Mallory eats real food at the cafeteria all the time, but if there happens to be a freak incident where there's a weird combination of food in her meal then the world deserves to know about it. This is mainly for myself, just so I can look back one day and wonder how I didn't pass out from the massive quantities of MSG I shoved in my body.

So tonights 2 am menu includes:
week-old blueberry mini-muffins, ramen noodles, and Orangina. Fascinating.

womenwomenwomenwomen

Today I had one of the strangest days of my life. I'm eating a banana covered in nutella in consolation.

white winter hymnal

I like it when snow settles into people's hair and into the fur around their hoods.

tiny bone hands

Unlike Mallory, I am fairly unorganized, quite passive about my music, and make mediocre mix CD's. This month was cold, rainy, and full of train rides. Here's the result:

Train Songs

1. Igloo by Karen O & The Kids
2. Talking Bird (demo) by Death Cab
3. When The Road Runs Out by Blonde Redhead and Devastation's*
4. Whatever (Some Folk Song in C) by Elliott Smith
5. Little Fury Bugs by Death Cab
6. Another Saturday by Stuart Murdoch*
7. Train Song by Ben Gibbard and Feist*
8. Brackett, W9 by Bon Iver *
9. Tiger Mountain Peasant Song by Fleet Foxes
10. Light Leaves by Why?
11. You've Got The Love by Florence and The Machine
12. Service Bell by Grizzly Bear and Feist*
13. Look At Me by John Lennon
14. Igloo by Karen O & The Kids
15. Look at That Old Grizzly Bear by Mark Mothersbaugh
16. Banshee Beat by Animal Collective
17. Moon Over Goldsboro by The Mountain Goats
18. These Days by Nico
19. Raincheck by Polytechnic
20. Those To Come by The Shins
21. Deep Blue Sea by Grizzly Bear*
22. Punky's Dilemma by Simon and Garfunkel
23. Steadier Footing by Death Cab
24. To Be Alone With You by Sufjan Stevens
25. Writing To Reach You by Travis
26. Virtute the Cat Explains Her Departure by The Weakerthans

*These songs can be found on the Dark Was The Night compilation. This CD benefits the Red Hot Organization, "an international charity dedicated to raising money and awareness for HIV and AIDS through popular culture."

upgrading

Since I make a point of attempting to surround myself with "artsy" folks it's not a huge surprise that I get nicer, more creative gifts than the average "queen bee" mug (remember that mug, Mallory?), and while I wouldn't go as far as to say that that's the PRIME reason I'm friends with them, well, I do enjoy these benefits...

But sometimes these gifts are way above my level. I've been given two beautifully crafted leather journals (by different people). Both journals are sitting on my bookshelf, too pretty to write in but too pretty to just leave be. Leather is quite fancy and I must admit, I'm unsure of myself. I'm used to my trusty, marble cover Mead 25 cent notebooks from CVS.






















I feel like nothing I could possibly write would be nice enough to belong in those journals.

Maybe if my quality of writing materials increases the quality of my writing will increase as well?



...probably not.

(Yes, those are my stupid little fingers)

posing

Flava Flav is apparently stopping traffic downtown, and I'm on my bed spooning up applesauce like it's *Ben and Jerry's. I obviously win.

My weekend home was fantastic; I forgot how well I fit in with my family and my home. I bought two hats for winter and I few other articles of clothing, but I'm mostly excited about the hats. I walked on the canal path and found a little pathway through the leaves that led to some surprised geese. I wish I had had my camera but I made do with my mind...Cam Jansen got nothing on me.

Now I'm back at my other home with a freezer full of tamales and a desk full of papers and flowers. It feels good to be back but I miss New Jersey.

Oh yeah, and I'm finally 18, but still indifferent. Gotta keep up my cool facade.




*thanks chupacabra...always knew you had to serve some weird purpose besides frightening a small population of Mexicans.

the annual homoerotic love letter

I was reading the plug today. It's silly and amusing and I never expect to find anything more than playfulness but I picked up this quotation and I thought it was worth sharing:

"You know how there are some people that you're really close to. And then you get to a certain point in your life, and you don't really think about that person anymore? And there's some people you were never really close to, but you always really enjoyed?"

Anyways I know it's probably not relevant and I wonder if I've run out of charming things to say about my friendship with Danielle but she turned 18 today which means It's that time of the year to confess my love.

So Danielle, darling, I may be states away but I'm about as close to you as I can possibly be to anyone. I think that counts for something. Thanks for sharing years of awkward teenage development with me. Thanks for making me laugh. Thanks for reading my mind about 90% of the time. Remember the first time we hung out? I must have felt terribly relieved that day thinking for the first time in my life: thank god, she's just like me.

You're the one I'm really close to and always really enjoyed. Have a happy birthday, legal adult.

updates overdue

updates:

It feels weird coming back here to write. I'm probably going to feel the same way when I go back home for the first time in three months. It feels familiar but It's like I just stepped into the doorway of my bedroom and realized I didn't make the bed before I left. Nomsayin? Me neither.

Anyways Danielle seems to have started this up again and I find no reason not to follow suit. That's not true. There are always reasons not to do something-time being one of them. Anyways if we're always connected by underground wires then why not reciprocate from both ends?

So far what I'm getting from college is a truckload of new information being shot out by a series of facial haired men who stand at the front of a large classroom. On occasion we regurgitate our new knowledge on papers or tests and sometimes that information nestles itself into my head and I let it get comfortable. Am I getting my money's worth? I can't say. Am I really learning anything? I can say.

I'll return, Beluga

homeward bound

When I find out I'll be going someplace, I'm anxious to pack immediately, but as my departure approaches the most packing I can muster is to drag my suitcase out and leave it in the middle of the floor. Sometimes I shoot it an angry glare or two.

Itinerary: crepes tonight, Yinka Shonibare afterwards, maybe throwing a shirt or something in the trunk, tea, sleeping, class, foods, HOME.

Oh but YINKA! COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER EVER:

I'd like to be packing those ridonkulous clothes away...

so0oo00o angsty

I have to stop writing past my bedtime; when I get under five hours of sleep I start to think of myself as very melancholy and pensive when really all I am is sleepy.

"Hi Sleepy, nice to meet you, I'm ----(cuddly woodland creature, usually)-----"

Refusing to post again until I snap out of this nonsense. Then again, when has resolving to do anything ever worked for me? This is why I don't bother with new years resolutions.

Yawning. Pensively, of course.

probably nothing will change

I'm finally learning that simplicity really is everything. Mallory, sorry it took me forever, and sorry you had to sit through my shitty dramatic writing. Adjectives and I have this tough little romance going on.

too fucking pensive, sorry

College is just fine. I've found some friends, a few tasty places to eat, and some spots to wander around when I want to look at something beautiful and quiet. I can see a pretty sunset through my window and sometimes there's a cuddly woodland creature in my room and a friendly ear in Boston. If I'm feeling embarrassingly melodramatic, there's my typewriter clack clack clack ping. I have scarves, sweaters, and a good supply of tea and honey. When I walk to my building, I usually can find a decent pile of leaves to walk though crisp crisp crisp crunch. This is all I need right now.

nostalgia

I suppose now that the "belugas" are off in college this is over (hi, Mallory!), but I don't think either of us can bring ourselves to officially end it. A good clean break isn't necessary; maybe I'll just come back to it when I'm feeling nostalgic and just want to cuddle.

now that's progressive!

My cousin Abby, who is my little brothers age, came over today. I was in bed vaguely listening to the two of them screaming about wars and dinosaurs, when I heard her say "Let's play doctor!" Although I hadn't ever played that when I was little, I TOTALLY knew the implications of that game. I tried to overhear them, in case I needed to interfere, but I soon learned that the game had involved into something much less scandalous but equally frightening:

Dr. Abby: What seems to be the problem, Mr. Alex?

Alex: My nose fell off!!!

Dr. Abby: Oh no...there seems to be a problem. Your insurance only covers you from the mouth down! I'm afraid I can't help you. Goodbye Mr. Alex.

Alex: Goodbye Dr. Abby.

peachy?

This summer I worked a second job for this exceptionally rich, exceptionally sweet old lady doing various outdoorsy, gardening-type chores. I thought I would hate it because I had to wake up early each day and by the end of it I would be drenched in sweat, but it turned out to be more lovely than I imagined. She had a little farm, with figs, peaches, cherries, and various vegetables and flowers. I would wander around and practice my daydreaming, which I've now been able to slip into with a bit too much ease. I would often do my daydreaming by the fruit trees...there's just something a bit magical about growing fruits, to me at least. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the hunger, maybe it was the pesticides, maybe it was the thrill of stealing or my newly recovered imagination, but I have never tasted a more delicious peach.

Hold it in

When the dog starts barking for no apparent reason it's safe to assume that he has to poop. Either that or there's a ghost in the kitchen. Since I'm obedient and loyal I take him out to do his business. I'm supposed to go to the back yard and make sure he dumps it by the edge of the woods but depending on my mood I might just take him to the front yard and hope my mother doesn't notice the shit in her garden. I took him to the back today and remembered what an awful, weedy mess that place is. In the summertime the mosquitoes go nuts back there and while I watched Peter squat in the bushes I was swarmed by little vampires. A bite on my neck, a bite on my arm and a bite on my leg. I was out there for three minutes!

I can only come to the conclusion that my blood is exceptionally tasty. And now I wait for Edward Cullen to whisk me away.

Whatever, I do what I want!

My weekend was dedicated to domestic bliss and I say that in a totally un-ironic/un-sarcastic way. Sometimes I hibernate at home. And by hibernate I mean help mom in garden, do the dishes, go grocery shopping, walk the dog and pick out a good looking recipe for dinner (Salad Nicoise). I even managed to paint my nails properly. They are now Pink Breeze.

I don't know exactly what point I'm trying to prove here. Maybe that it's kinda lame to stay at home all weekend but putting coolness aside I find great pleasure in doing housewife-like tasks every once in a while.

I feel weird saying it too because, well, I'm only a seventeen year old girl who, for the most part, fantasizes about the glamorous and sophisticated city-life waiting for me in the future and in terms of 1950s housewife ideals I become insanely defensive in a no-shave feminist sort of way...not to mention I dislike the idea of cookie cutter suburban communities (my Weeds addiction doesn't help) AND I just watched Revolutionary Road last night-the ultimate HORROR movie in terms of domesticity...

The point is, I sometimes like "playing house" if only for a little while.

Diet plan

I think I have food poisoning. I haven't been hungry for a long time. I feel like I could go my entire life without ever eating again. No it's not an eating disorder, and yes I am eating despite my lack of appetite. I just thought I would share this odd feeling. I suppose this is what it's like to be a machine. Although I do need sleep. Sleeping beauty slept forever without eating. Maybe she ate the lox I had for breakfast yesterday morning?

Infinite Jest update:
I'm on page 185. So 796 pages left (not including footnotes)! I keep picking up "toughen-up" mottoes that seem to make perfect sense. A lot of the quotations are for the insane tennis players in the book and although I'm not exactly athletic, I could easily have an athletic mind-set.
(Not necessarily) good life lessons for the day:
"What is unfair can be a stern and invaluable teacher."-IJ

"If you are an adolescent, here is the trick to being neither quite a nerd nor quite a jock: be no one. It is easier than you think."

"Please learn the pragmatics of expressing fear: sometimes words that seem to express really invoke."

Oh say can you see

happy birthday America. I'm getting along fine with the book, thank you very much. I took it to the ocean yesterday and it survived the sand, the water and my smelly messy dog stepping all over. So far the book is really funny but at times difficult. The best way to approach the book is with ETA's former motto:
TE OCCIDERE POSSUNT SED TE EDERE NON POSSUNT NEFAS EST*

*since I failed latin my Junior year, the only reason I know the translation is because it is footnote 32: They can kill you but the legalities of eating you are quite a bit dicier.

the old switcharoo

Updates (from Danielle's side of the 100 acre woods)

1) I've been in and out of various pools and graduation parties and hosted a lovely little breakfast for the neighbors. On the menu were a variety of bagels, three different kinds of cream cheeses, scrambled eggs, salmon, bready quiche made by Mallory's mom, fruit salad, and apple strudels. I would've liked to have it be like the wild brunch on the upper east side complete with lobster, caviar, champagne, frills, and a heady dose of drama: but unfortunately I have neither the funds nor the queen blair-ness to command something like that.

2) I'm practicing daydreaming again. I used to be quite the pro, but as I entered high school and got some real friends and a real life I stopped and now I find I can't daydream without simply  getting distracted from my daydream and zoning out and thinking about nothing. Not being able to focus on daydreaming is a sad thing indeed. I prefer daydreaming because I feel like it is a bit of a less waste of time then zoning out. Picking my evil, I am.

3) I leave for orientation at George Washington University (is every school I attend doomed to be a mouthful?) tomorrow morning at 5. Maybe I'll meet fantastic witty people. Then again maybe those people might meet me ;)

4) I'm more and more pumped for the new Harry Potter movie every day. Fight back, you coward!

comments on the weather

Updates

1. The weather has gotten really hot, really quickly. I know this because I am under the sun from 9-5 yelling at children and wishing my bangs wouldn't stick to my forehead.

2. Dinner every night is especially delicious and healthy. My theory is that mother wants me to miss her cooking hardxcore when I leave for school.

3. Infinite Jest is going along fine. I started a bit late because I had to finish rereading Harry Potter ( CANT WAIT FOR THE MOVIE) but I'm on schedule. Working on deadlines actually produces results and I'm enjoying the experience.

4. I have to get organized.

infinite is a scary word.

Okay I'm starting on a positive note because I WILL DO THIS. Trust me, I will do it.


This was the original introduction to this post: I have the bad tendency to start things and not finish them. You see, if it isn't an assignment for school, or a chore appointed by my screaming mother I simply don't have the will power to do it. Of course once I set my mind to something I'll be damned if I don't accomplish the task.

If you don't know, although I'm certain you do, there has been certain hype over a website called
infinitesummer.org

You should check out the link and if you're a bibliophile like I am, get involved. For those who don't trust where my links lead, I will tell you that it is like a support group for one of most critically acclaimed novels ever, Infinite Jest. The book is ridiculously long with about a million footnotes. I bought it it last year on a sidewalk sale and tried to read it. I got to page 30 and gave up. Then this year I picked it up again and got to page 115 (my bookmark is still in between the pages). AND THEN God came down to earth and showed me an opportunity to start again.

I'm in. I'm doing it. And I will be mentioning my progress here. Don't groan, I'm not a literary expert so I won't be writing insightful essays or anything. Maybe I'll just complain. But whatever, it's good for me. That way I can go to BU next year and say I read the book and immediately seem like a pretentious shut-in with way too much time on my hands.

I've always been good with directions so I will be starting June 21st and reading about 75 pages a week.

I'm excited. I'm a nerd.

Harry Potter and the girls who love the books hardXcore

It's been a while since Danielle and I wrote a post....TOGETHER!

actually it's been a while since we've actually wrote anything.

 SO here is a list of life advice we learned from HARRY POTTER:

1. make sure your best friend is ten times smarter than you. It comes in handy

2. trust your instincts

3. don't make enemies who can actually harm you

4. there is not such thing as fate. You HAVE A CHOICE. Go Gryffindor

5. sometimes it's okay to break the rules

6. know some good insults.

7. treat everybody like your equal-house elves included

8. first impressions are sometimes wrong

9. LOVE conquers all

10. "it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that." -Dumbledore

11. follow Dumbledore's advice, always

12. when in doubt, go to the library

13. "fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself "

14 . Don't be so stubborn all the time. 

15. chocolate makes you feel better 

Yeah, I (Mallory) have been rereading all the harry potter books and forgot how AWESOME they were. And Danielle never forgot. okay so peace out. hope you like our advice and if not please read HP because it's so much better than Twilight.

oh and stay away from fan fiction.

This page is not blank

The future of travel

When I'm wearing socks I like to slide around the house. This is the number one reason that I want hardwood floors in my future home. Run and slide. Sure beats walking.

What is art? Baby, don't hurt me

Introduction to the introduction: OKAY. So I LOVE to start projects/experiments on this website and NEVER finish them so here is my new project.

Introduction: Modern art can be frustrating to understand. If I crumple up a piece of paper and spit on it what give me the right to call it art? Discussing the legitimacy of artwork is fascinating and tiring but that's not what I'm trying to do here. I LOVE art. Mydili is skeptical. That doesn't make me pretentious or her "uncultured" it just makes us different. What Mydili is going to do is continuously question: WHAT MAKES IT ART? She will mock and criticize and possibly even answer her own questions (God knows I've tried). And I am going to document. Enjoy :)

Part One: The Critique***
**these videos were taken on the bus back home from the MoMA. The video quality is horrible. You can hear people talking, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid playing in the background, and the city I love zooming in the background. You will have to focus but I think all the distractions in the background enhance the experience. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Oh and I added links to the artwork so you can see what she's talking about.




Heroin






Stains




Tutto

INCONSISTANCY is the name of the game

Updates:

I know it's been a while but this has been a very hectic month. Danielle and I have been getting our lives together. I will be attending Boston University and she will be attending George Washington University. The future of the Beluga is at stake!

Picture of the day has turned into picture of the whenever I feel like it. But I have indeed updates some from today, April 30th: http://www.flickr.com/photos/haveyourfits/

Senior-itis be hitting me hardxcore.

There was a dead worm on my driveway covered in ants. This could lead to a fascinating discussion on mortality and Dali's ant symbolism but all I can think about is how gross it all is.

the hope of spring

Yesterday I looked out the window and saw snow on the tree tops. I sighed but I was not too surprised since it has been cold and rainy for days. When I looked closer I realized it wasn't snow but blossoms.

not my favorite kind of pie

Ten things I can't do:
whistle
paint my nails without making them look like a third grader's
skateboard
do a kart wheel
harmonize
be confrontational
speak a foreign language fluently
keep my money in my pocket
pay attention in math class
act

there.

you wanted to know

Updates

As Danielle said, "all your annoying studiousness has finally paid off" and the pay off is acceptance into a Boston school and a lovely sum of scholarship money. Looks like I won't have to work in the coal mines for the rest of my life.

I have been reading too much Russian literature and in search of some sunny books I am turning to the weird self help books scattered around the house. I love you too, Dalai Lama.

I bathed Peter today and he had the strongest aversion to a hair brush that I have ever seen. I found it odd and will try to video tape it the next time I clean him.

I have this new found obsession with William Eggleston's photography. I have that photo of the two girls on the couch. You know what I'm talking about? It's a little gay but hey...maybe I'm a little gay.

I'm totally kidding about that.

Bubbles are much cleaner in your head than in person.

PPS:

To check out her two blog posts click HERE!

PRINCESSES!

I went to Disney and if I weren't so stupid I would have probably had a better time. I won't discuss the details but I do want to show off some comics that my friend made. She is an awesome award winning artist. Her style is super sophisticated and mature beyond belief:

PS: All art work done by DISNEY or Erina Davidson. Bet ya can't guess who did what!!

clicking away like Cam Jansen

I resolved to take a photograph every day for the rest of my life. Like most commitments, let us see if I freak out and start to find flaws in the relationship.
So yeah here's my new boyfriend:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/haveyourfits/

love,
Mallory

And the Mallory goes to...

With the Oscars on last night, it seems that all this pop culture has just vomited all over my brain. And so I've been thinking about celebrities I really want to know. I might be a teenage girl, but I'm not that into heartthrobs (with the exception of Ed Westwick, but don't get me started) so here are the top three famous people that I would eagerly take on a strictly platonic lunch date.

Sean Penn: I don't care what people say about this nut job, I like him immensely BECAUSE of his absurdity. And he was so beautiful in Milk that I will always forgive him.

Mos Def: I was watching this documentary on Richard Pryor, and every time Mos Def came on I felt like hugging him. I just swear he's nice.

Jon Stewart: This wouldn't be platonic. I'm hardcore crushing on this man for obvious reasons.

surprise interaction: who would be your top three celebrity platonic dream dates?

1000110101

I just discovered wordle (a "word cloud" generator) and I've been brainstorming what text I should use. I've considered poems and quotes and my favorite things, but most of those things are already pleasant. The thing with wordle is that it can make ANYTHING beautiful, so why waste it on words that are already lovely? So instead, I thought of the most unfascinating thing I could think of and made it pretty: an explanation of BINARY CODE. Enjoy.

    title="Wordle: binary code">    src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/533107/binary_code"
    alt="Wordle: binary code"
    style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd">

do you like your women late and cheap?

This is going to be a new irregularly updated (aka whenever I feel like it) segment where I scan the shit I find in my pocket at the end of the day. I'm a very mysterious girl and my pocket treasure may help you find out more about me:



Today's findings include:
tardy slip
bagel with coupon usage

If you're a bird, I'm a bird!

Because I am one lazy BAMF I've been shirking on my posts and copying my old poems and other such things to avoid having to think of a decent post for the interwebs. I promise this will end after this post because I have run out of poems. Yes, they made me and my friends laugh and hopefully made other readers smile, but flaunting my youthful stupidity has gone on long enough. Good-bye old dreams of literary fame!

However, this next and last poem I'm posting was my magnum opus, my chef d'oeuvre, my tour de force, the one I knew would propel me into the world of prose. It's a long one, but at age 14, my heart was full of long thoughts. The weird thing is I don't think I had a boyfriend at the time, so I don't really know what I was jabbering on about. Well, I was a wise one! I should have paid attention to my terrible metaphor several months later!

Clipped Wings (Winds of Delight)

I saw a bird

in the deep of the night

spread its white wings

and swiftly take flight.

I wept silent tears

for what never could be

for fate cruel and fierce,

and for those that fly free.

For once I was a bird,

white, perfect, and pure,

'til I was cast down

by Love's sweet allure

Drawn by things that might be,

by things that once were,

I threw caution to the wind,

and my life began to blur.

With promises half-kept,

and sweet words untrue,

I fought with myself,

tried to hide what I knew:

"True love should not

clip my wings of flight,

but should instead soar with me

as the winds of delight."

say playlist one more time and I swear...

Here are three facts about me that make the statement I am about to make seem impossible: I love my music, I am fairly well organized, and I make pretty fantastic mix-cds (which I create as pleasant surprises for my friends...but that's another story)

Now the statement I want to make is this: NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T MAKE A PLAYLIST on iTunes.


It's not that I'm physically incapable, but for some reason whenever I try to create a compilation of songs so that I'm not stuck wondering what to listen to, I just give up or end up deleting it. About every two weeks I have a set list of songs that I listen to over and over again and then move onto the next batch, and it would make sense to just create a goddamn playlist! I want to utilize my iPod to the best of its ability and simplify my life. I can imagine having tons of lovely playlists, each with clever names. I've even considered organizing it in different categories like the best of each genre, or by appropriate season but holy crap I just end up deleting it after minutes of wasted scrutiny.

It doesn't help that GENIUS playlist and PARTY SHUFFLE (sounds like a dance move) playlist are all up in my grill telling me that a computer can create a shitty playlist and not have the obsessive need to delete it immediately.

And you know what makes this rant especially crazy? Deep down in my heart I know why I can't create a playlist. DEEP DEEP down I believe that if I create this disgusting list of elite songs I will snub the other ones. The ones I don't listen to everyday (you sons of bitches know who you are!), the ones that come out of nowhere on my shuffle and surprise me with their subtle beauty and sneaky charm. Oh my heart aches knowing I don't pay attention to you. You're all important and I love you all!


**I do have a Christmas playlist that doesn't count because a blind monkey could organize their Christmas songs.

If only Tumnus were around the corner

Groundhog says six more weeks of winter so I'm not that surprised that it's snowing today. Since my backyard is a mess of trees the snow turns it into the beautiful, inspiring NARNIA:

No photos can do it justice (guess which one I didn't take) so just step into your wardrobe or something.

The Iron Burn of Civilization!

My language arts teacher freshmen year assured me if this got published, it would totally change the way young people thought about the environment. I now know better.

Breathing Todays Air

...Breathe in....

Car exhaust,

Cigarette smoke,

A hint of rain,

The metallic taste,

The iron burn

Of Civilization.

...Breathe out...

"The Iron Burn of Civilization" should be an of Montreal cover band that rewrites the lyrics to make them environmentally friendly. Reuse, Recycle, Repair your WASTED TIME.

Advanced Proficient Humor

I have an American Government test tomorrow and while I was reading the dense and mostly un-fascinating textbook I actually found some humor. It just seemed so out of place that I thought I would share.
It's subtle but a good enough excuse for me to get out of my studies and show the world:

"...public outrage over the abuses of the spoils system, highlighted by the assassination of President James Garfield by a man always described in the history books as a 'disappointed office seeker' (lunatic would a more accurate term)..."

hear that Charles Julius Guiteau? My textbook has a bone to pick with you!

roses are read, violets just blow

Danielle has been posting old and silly poems and although I am proud to say I never wrote shitty teenage poetry before (I have three more years to actually write a TEENAGE poem, after that they will only be shitty poems.) I think my diary entries are dramatic enough without the metaphors and vague word combination (think: the sunset of my eyes carry you home). I also figured that it is in my nature to be pretty straight forward with my thoughts and writing. I hate flowery nonsense. That being said, I was shuffling through my old journals and found something close to being a poem. So for the first time in history, the second half of Might Beluga reveals the poet inside:

She sleeps with feathers in her hair and wakes to find an illegible song she scrawled in the dark the night before. If only the ideas didn't fade before the lights turned on again. "I can't keep writing in the dark and one more flash with burn out the bulb"

I actually don't think it's that bad. But that's probably because I'm an arrogant motherfucker.

still can relate

Complete and utter garbage. But unlike some people I know, I can recognize garbage when I see it, and use it as entertainment. I don't delude myself, although my language arts teacher had circled the last three lines and wrote "Catchy!" on the side. I must agree, to be honest.

2 am

Late at night

(or is it early in the morning?)

I toss and turn.

Scenes wheel through my mind.

Forgotten places,

Forgotten faces.

None staying long enough in my mind.

These thoughts plague my mind,

Things I should've said, 

Things I should've done.

I cannot rest!

Oh how this nightly ritual

Do I detest!

Irrational

Sometimes I think what life would be like if dinosaurs still tromped around the Earth, and I start to panic. This is an irrational fear that I have, along with being suffocated by things placed over my face (like a shirt), certain types of blankets, and my hairdresser accidentally cutting my ear off. Although, the hairdresser one is pretty legitimate. The last lady that cut my hair had this look in her eyes that was just plain malicious. She wanted blood, I just knew it, so help me god. Just like this T-Rex. Turd Rex.

Just editing this photo gave me severe shivers.

Danielle and the Deathly Sleepiness

Over the winter break, I managed to greet the day later and later. It was less like greeting and more like grumpily mumbling hello to an uninvited guest. One day I stumbled out of bed at two in the afternoon and stumbled back into bed at 8 because I was still in my pajamas and bored. Every morning, I would just rub my eyes blearily, roll over, and go back to sleep until my mother would be reduced to standing over me with a cup of ice water in her hands, yelling herself hoarse.

I begin to wonder...if no one was around to wake me up, would I just sleep and sleep FOREVER? Would I be lost in my dorm room for days that would evolve into weeks, while my traitorous body swayed in the arms of Mistress Sleep?! How long til somebody noticed I was gone?! How fucking terrible of a metaphor was swaying in the arms of Mistress Sleep?!

I picture the scene, campus police storming up the stairs, bashing the door in with their little billy clubs, the gasp that would be drawn from the mob as they laid eyes on my lifeless body, curled up in a fetal position, and the second gasp as I laboriously raised my head, passed a hand across my slitted eyes, and moaned, "Ungh...5 more minutes."

for auld lang syne

Happy new year, friends! I hope you had a good last night, drank champagne, watched the ball drop, ate grapes and made a decent resolution. Contrary to popular belief, I am flawed. So I thought I would make a good resolution that I am capable of following. There will be many changes this year and I hope I manage to keep my head in the right place despite whatever madness I meet.
For 2009 I plan on:
Graduating High School
Attending College
Making new friends
Holding on to the old ones

and I resolve to hold on to my optimism. I am easily discouraged and easily disappointed in people. If I ever hermit away It's because I worry about how things will turn out, or I start to wonder if anyone is ever any good. This year I will try to keep my faith in myself, my future and the people around me. I know that everyone is a good person although it's not always obvious to others, and I know that everything will fall into its place no matter how badly things seem to be going...
That's all. And I apologize if this post wasn't very amusing but I thought I should share my resolution so that maybe my dear readers (and Danielle) could keep track of it.

If anyone has some good resolutions please share it with me! Even if it is to drop 15 pounds :)