Sunday, June 29, 2008


SO what I'm about to reveal is actually a huge deal. Danielle and I have been friends since we hit puberty and we share just about everything. It's no secret that we've got some loose screws, but I've always gotten a kick out of being really goddamn sneaky about my ridiculousness. Luckily, my homemade cool has been keeping me from becoming a pariah ever since grade school.

One of the perks of being my best friend is seeing THE FACE. Whenever we are both in a social setting, sitting around with the boys, talking it up with the family I bust out THE FACE quick as lightning. This causes Danielle to burst into laughter and everyone else to think WTF.

Since Danielle is out of the state, and it's raining outside and I'm just BORED I decided to spill the sacred look out into the web.
Publicizing this antic will reveal:
1. if my friends will still accept me
2. if this is the only glue bonding me and Danielle
3. if anyone actually gives a damn
4. just how stupid we are

Fortunately for you, I'm willing to take those risks. So here it goes:

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Spyware be damned--if you're clever enough to headline a spam e-mail with THAT, then you deserve to take over my computer.

On a side note, I leave for Washington DC today to check out some schools; will return Monday or so. Mallory will keep you entertained, I hope.

Off to the nations capital!


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Where I Get It From

I'm sure this has happened to a majority of you folks out there: Dropping your cellphone in the toilet.
I was at my aunt's house yesterday and we were all sharing our personal mishaps until my sister interrupted.

Elaine: Hey I've never dropped anything in the toilet

Mom: Really?

Elaine: Yeah I swear I've never dropped anything

Mom: Seriously Elaine? Think about it. You never dropped ANYTHING in the toilet.

It took me about a minute to realize my own mother, the woman who frowns upon us watching reality T.V. because it's trash, was making a POOP joke.

My mouth dropped in disbelief

and then came the laughter.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

you don't talk about fight club

I never saw the movie (Yes, yes i now it's supposed to be awesome) but i just finished the book and it was super tasty.

I'm not going to talk much about a book that came out a while ago so I'll just share my favorite part:

I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?"
Why did I cause so much pain?
Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness?
Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love?
I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong.
We are not special.
We are not crap or trash, either.
We just are.
We just are, and what happens just happens.
And God says, "No, that's not right."
You can't teach God anything.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

funny little frog (in my throat)

You know what's awful?

Yelling and yelling with no sound coming out.

Really, if there is this tiny little cat turd on the floor, and you're about to step on it, and I scream "BEWARE, POO!" but it ends up sounding like  "ehhhh, ehh!,"   are you really going to blame me when you step on it? 

Curse my weak immune system.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Temperature affects sound; on a hot day, sound travels faster. 

I always knew there was an explanation for NOT HEARING THAT SCHOOL WAS DELAYED THAT DAY IT SNOWED A FOOT 

(yes, I am still bitter)

Saturday, June 7, 2008

the woes of womanhood

I'm watching the ending credits to National Treasure! I didn't see the movie but the credits seem nice.

Anyways Danielle and I took SAT II today. And then we bought crazy amounts of clothes. You know, to help deal with the stress of our impending future. Well something happened at the mall (that should not have happened for an entire week!) that I will not discuss. The point is: being a girl is not fun. Sure we wear dresses and look really pretty and produce babies but that's about all we've got going for us. So later when we went to her house to go swimming her dog (that bitch) pulled the string from my bikini top...let's just say I ran pretty quickly into the house and hopefully nobody saw my __PUPPIES**__ (readers: enter your own creative noun! Whoever's I like better I'll use...pretty interactive huh? contest over).

**yes i chose Danielle's word. Why? because I'm biased. Get over it.

Friday, June 6, 2008

a hipster in the making

Today I was playing Jenga with my little brother, and he asked me if I could play some music. I cast my eyes over my meager collection of CDs and asked him what he wanted to hear. He asked for me to play the song that went like "all i wanna do is BANG BANG BANG and ka-ching take your monAY."

WHAT? MIA? gosh!

Similar instances:
overhearing him mumble "NORTH AMERICANS ah yahhhhh, ah hah ah, north americans" while building a Lego star wars model. (LCD soundsystem)

constantly asking me to play that "shake your coconuts" song. (junior senior)

bopping his head to the beat and shouting "I'VE GOT A HUNGERRRRR, THAT'S TWISTING MY STOMACH INTO KNOTS, THAT MY TONGUE HAS TIED OFF dah duh duh dah dah."

and asking his new friend Brian if he likes David Bowie, 'cuz there was this song that went like CH-CH-CH-CHANGES and it was really cool OH and another that went like major tom to ground control, does he like that song? and his friend brian is all "hannah montana is pretty."

and you know what my brother says? "HANNAH MONTANA IS WEIRD."

yo man, 8 years old, and this kid is the coolest kid on the block. young skywalker, i've taught you well.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Lowriders out. Bike riders in

Check out the belt I purchased yesterday:

I couldn't find it in my colors but you can find it here.
Pretty cool huh?

Anyways today was the day of the AP play so I did nothing but hang out until it was my time to shine (I was an American soldier).
I learned two things that I hope will come in handy someday.
1) It is difficult to entertain unruly teenagers
2) It is easy to entertain nerdy teachers

This post was pointless, I just wanted to show off my belt.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

HBO and childhood dreams

I should have stayed in studying. But hey, I don't need to go to college...

Friday: I watched SEX AND THE CITY. You should have seen the flocks of middle aged women! Since Danielle and I are too young for R-rated movies (especially one's with sex in the title!) we snuck in with a group of 40 year old suburban housewives. They were fabulous and I'm not just saying that.

I could make up excuses for seeing the movie but I'm not gonna lie*. I was entertained and that's what matters.

Saturday: Elaine came home for her birthday with some art school friends. She dyed her hair blue. HOW ORIGINAL. Art students never go through wacky experiments, riiiiight? I look forward to some piercings, tats and who knows, maybe she'll bring home a girlfriend. Just to try.

anecdote: While at the supermarket it started pouring rain. I mean huge balloon sized drops! People were hesitant to head to their cars and so they waited patiently for it to calm down. Since I like to pretend that I'm brave I convinced my mother to run for it. And we did. And while crossing the street my flip-flop fell off. And while running back to get it, my other flip-flop fell off.
"GODDAMMIT!" I yelled. The folks who waited laughed at me and I went wee wee wee all the way to the car...

Anyways it was also Princeton's graduation day so there were MAD alumni and live music in town. I went to Danielle's house to watch the fireworks from her front lawn and then we built a fort (inspiration) with David. I wished desperately to return to my childhood. Specifically age 8.

Sunday: Our friend Lalli had a surprise birthday party. I arrived late and thus missed out on the ambushing. It was cute. We napped in the grass; we ate ice cream cake; we went home with goody bags. Maybe my desire to be 8 again is coming true...

*Danielle, you can do the honors of discussing the ridiculousness of this expression.

Now my family is still over for Elaine's birth celebration so I have to entertain them. But Holy Hell my weekends have been surprisingly eventful I barely have time to absorb anything.