Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Back in a Slightly Darker Shade

That was the original title of the AC/DC album...

I've been back for a day and I'm already making bad jokes!
Okay Puerto Rico was really great. Nice people, great beaches, lots of for the pics:

^This foxy lady is way too cool for school (don't remind me)

^we went to the rain forest EL YUNQUE

^ and the beach in Vieques where "wild" horses roam.

^please don't feed the pigeons. they will attack.

^San Juan

^more San Juan

^hotel window

angry note: I didn't get to take my incredibly amazing high quality camera because apparently its too damn chunky so the crapness of the photos are due to my mums cybershot NOT the photographers ability to work with the settings.

happy note: Vacation was great but I'm perfectly content in my exotic home town of New Jersey.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

I don't speak english but I do read

This is a list of song titles from Pet Sounds that were translated in and out of Japanese by Google Translate. It's a brilliant idea with fantastic results. I decided to rip off the idea but with books. Have fun figuring out the translation!


As a young person the portrait picture of the artist - James Joyce

The money is the night - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Everything becomes quiet at the western front part- Erich Maria Remarque

Call of wildness- Jack London

For the sake of who whom the bell sounds - Ernest Hemingway

Mouse and Person- John Steinbeck

Cat of Hat- Dr. Seuss

Orange of clock mechanism- Anthony Burgess

Benefit of the thing which is the brand where popularity falls- Stephen Chbosky

Lunch which it exposes- William Burroughs

Main thing of ring- J.R.R. Tolkien

Revolution of screw- Henry James

The stone of Harry Potter and magic teacher- J.K. Rowling

Okay I could go on forever but my eyes are killing me and I'm going to Puerto Rico for a week so this just needs to stop. Don't miss me too much.

Friday, August 17, 2007

She's a crafty one

I've always felt much older than I actually am- 86 to be exact. So in honor of the old lady in me- I decided to start crocheting. Thinking of all the hats and gloves and sweaters I could make made me feel very fuzzy! I spent a clueless hour in the craft store and finally picked up some blue and green yarn:

I don't know when Vanna White became a yarn spokesperson but hey, whatever spins her wheel of fortune...

I was unsure of what to make and it started off a bit stressful. My fingers weren't relaxed and I couldn't keep the yarn on that annoying little hook thing, but last night I couldn't sleep so I picked it up and-under the light of my bedside lamp- I became a crochet expert!

The perpetual motion of pulling loops through more loops is almost hypnotizing. Before I knew it, I had myself a surprisingly long scarf:

I'll probably add more color and make it thicker but I just wanted to show off a bit. I'm going out later and I don't know if I can resist leaving my creation at home. People wear scarves in the middle of August, right?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


I am an avid Slate reader so when I found this article I couldn't help but check it out. In case you're too lazy to click the link or if you're paranoid that it leads to spam infested waters I'll help you out a little. Basically Michael Weiss is discussing what not to name your blog. Although the advice is obvious (don't choose a name that will come back to haunt you) I couldn't help but notice rule number three:

Inside Jokes Doom.
"Nicknames and private giggles are fine for yearbook inscriptions and e-mail passwords, but as blog titles they're a nuisance"

Unless you have me pictured as a charming but morbidly obese young lady, the title The Mighty Beluga has obviously originated from a secret little joke I shared with a friend.
Sadly though, the mighty beluga incident wasn't very funny or memorable.
Here's the story:
One day Danielle and I could not stop singing Baby Beluga.
That same day I said, "hey let's make a blog"
After staring at the computer screen for quite some time Danielle went, "lets call it The Mighty Beluga!"
I said, "uh...okay" and typed it in.

The End.

p.s. if you think I'm changing the name then you're crazy. Seriously, does blogger really need another Musings of a Teenager?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

S.H.I.T. # 4

Since it is a common fact that soda is a disgusting and deadly beverage, I usually opt for the healthier drinks such as Orange-mango, grapefruit juice, peach cider-

I have quickly learned that fruit juices are heavenly but they also require a little shake from their consumer. You can guess that after my transition to juice, shaking has become second nature, so on those rare occasions when I am handed an ice cold Coca-cola... things get messy.

#4- Shaking the Coke can

Monday, August 13, 2007

Please, don't abandon your teenage daughter

It seems that during the time I was in the hospital, scanning E.R. sheets with the patience of an angel, someone forgot about me. Whoever this person was (I won't say any names) was obviously too busy sipping Chilean Pisco with her new friends to remember that her very own DAUGHTER was in town waiting for a ride home.
After thirty minutes and fifty unanswered phone calls I made a decision. I could either stay on the bench and allow the resentment to settle in permanently OR I could take the twenty dollars from my pocket and have a nice day in town (Ironically-I wouldn't have had that money if the same person who left me stranded hadn't given it to me...). I bought myself a gourmet bagel, familiarized myself with the corners of the used bookstore, and went hunting for vinyl. In other words I had a grand ole time being abandoned!
Two hours later my mum found me walking to Danielle's house. Although I tried to give her the silent treatment while she smothered me with apologies- the truth was, I wasn't mad at all. If anything, all that time by myself taught me a valuable lesson that is so cliche I shouldn't even have to write it down. And I won't.


Friday, August 10, 2007

Supporting the Order with Rock!

Yesterday I went to see the Remus Lupins play their awesome wizard rock at my local library!
Since I write for the high school paper I used my press power to interview Alex Carpenter. If I weren't giggling like a little school girl I would probably have some decent notes and post the exclusive MIGHTY BELUGA INTERVIEWS THE REMUS LUPINS. Unfortunately I don't. Instead I have a vague recollection of Alex saying "rad" a lot and some mediocre pics of the show:

song list for whomping willow

El whomping willow himself

Foxy drummer Justin


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

You stupid effing rabbit!

Dear General Mills,
What the hell is wrong with you?!? A while ago I turned on the t.v. and came across a commercial for Trix cereal. What I found was a shocking and disgraceful change of the product. It seems that after so many years of exciting fruit shaped cereal, you have decided to change the shape to round spheres or "puffs"
According to the commercial, rabbit breaks into a space center and jumps into some spinning thing that deforms our beloved cereal! In case you forgot, the line goes "Silly Rabbit Trix are for kids!" You hear that? Kids! Not corporate millionaires who have changed the product because it will save them time and money! I expect a response immediately.
-Mallory, and the millions of children you have disappointed.

PS: We're going foward, not backwards:

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Who needs T.V. when we have T.G.I.?

I went to T.G.I. Fridays on Thursday with some of my coworkers.
While waiting outside for my ride home, two women came out for a smoke and a chat. My sister was on the phone and I was staring at my feet wondering how much second hand smoke I needed to inhale before my lungs disappeared. Soon the smoker's conversation got louder and I, being the nosy girl that I am, tuned in:

Lady smoker: I told him that I knew he had cheated on me and he wanted to know how i knew. At that point i had no idea what to tell him

Supportive but quiet friend: of course

Lady smoker: then he goes 'did Michelle tell you?' and I didn't say anything so he goes on to say, 'I didn't kiss her'


and that's when I punched him in the face.

Friday, August 3, 2007


In honor of my campers and their 15 second attention spans-I will keep this post short and exciting:

Today was the last day of camp!

I won counselor of the week!
I ate sno-cones and popcorn!
I played on the inflatable joust!

No more waking up at 6:50AM!
No more nok-hockey!
No more pushing second graders on the tire swing!
No more paychecks!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

S.H.I.T. # 3

I don't remember when this first started but a few weeks ago I came out of the water to find Danielle laughing hysterically. Apparently, before I head underwater, I make a strange noise.

"OHMMMMM" and down I go for my signature breaststroke (I should change this sentence but I trust my readers aren't as perverted as I am).

What I forgot to explain to Danielle was that that "OHMM" was simply my mantra. It's comforting to hum when I'm swimming underwater. Is this common? I hope so.

#3- Humming underwater