Sunday, July 29, 2007

Four dollars for a glass door knob...what a bargain!

Fact*: A long, long time ago Jack Yardigan gathered a bunch of old crap he didn't want and threw it on his front lawn. When the neighbors began offering prices for his garbage, Mr. Yardigan knew he had come across something huge--THE YARD/GARAGE/TAG/MOVING/JUNK SALE!

Recieving my sisters's hand-me-downs trained me for thrift stores and yard sales. To me, nothing is sweeter than purchasing worn down items for a cheaper price. So on saturday I went lawn hunting to see what I could find.

Even the shortest glance can reveal alot about you, my dear yard seller.
Such as, you like drinking in style:

Or you're into fine literature:

or maybe you're just trying to get rid of some furniture because you can't take it with you when you move to the city...

either way, It's good to know you're offering it up to me. Maybe you've grown past these objects-- but I'm just warming up to them.

*and by fact I mean I totally made it up.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

S.H.I.T. # 2

The living room couch is my ideal place for reading. It is also my ideal place for napping. Sometimes my napping immedietly follows my reading. The result is Stephen King's On Writing poking my back while I have nightmares of being stabbed.

#2- sleeping with hardcover books

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

S.H.I.T. # 1

This is the beginning of a list I have decided to make. It is called "Strange Habits I'm Developing" although now that i think about it, it would be cleverer (is that right?) to call it "Strange Habits I've Taken (up)" that way the acronym will be SHIT! Yes, I am 15 years old and I do think it is funny to say SHIT. Okay here it goes.

# 1- Saying "fo realz yo" without any hint of irony.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Off to bigger and better things, like Eragon!

Now i understand Harry Potter is over, but I feel it is my duty to write about my last adventure.

On July 20th, 2007 I went to Diagon Alley ( Or a town square that looked like Diagon Alley...perhaps transformed by magic?) with my friends. We were merry, made wands, pointed out wizards and felt a little bit sad that this was our last night to be real nerds.

Then we headed on over to a Barnes & Noble to celebrate some more.
Hours of Harry trivia, absurd picture taking and a loooong wait in line led me to the latest and final installment of Harry Potter. Oh those Deathly Hallows!

The truth is, my sister had a leak of the book a week before it came out. Tempted by its availability, I would sneak glances at the shitty digital photos that revealed Rowling's words. But alas, I could not bring myself to read it!

When I finally did receive the book, in all its orange glory, I saved it for the morning before I could read it. And trust me, I read furiously all the next day until I finished at 1am on Sunday.

My thoughts: My predictions were all wrong (with the exception of Snape) but I wasn't disappointed in the least. Some parts I didn't grasp right away (the whole wand switcheroo in the end) but Rowling's imaginative story telling and charming wit did not fail. I thought the epilogue was frivolous and painfully cheesy but Harry Potter's final story was definitely the best.

What makes the Harry Potter books so great isn't their plot, but their characters. I ached for their losses and cheered whenever Ron, Hermoine, or anyone else turned up victorious. But despite my genuine concern for the imaginary world I longed to be a part of-I couldn't help but notice that the most important character was the least dynamic. Harry Potter was never my favorite character. Even though exciting things happened to him, I always thought Harry himself was a terrible bore. The truth is, he is awfully static.
The characters around him, who displayed natural feelings of doubt (Ron) or greed (Dumbledore) may have seemed bad compared to Harry, but by revealing their darker sides they became human. I could relate to them. I understand Harry's ability to succeed comes from his selflessness and pure heart, but c'mon! How am I supposed to feel close to a saint? Harry's most prominent trait may save him from Voldemort, but it keeps me from regretting our departure.

I will miss Harry, but I think I'm done with children's literature.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

You don't stand a chance against Gryffindor

Last night at 12:03AM I found myself in a movie theatre watching HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX.
Did I have work at 8 the next morning? YES
Did I know I would be disappointed? YES
Did I attend anyways? YES!
I tried to be cool but all this Potter craze got to me. I have been listening to Harry and the Potters nonstop, discussing the movie with my friends, talking about the books with my second graders and explaining the importance of Harry to n00bs. I could literally go on forever about Harry Potter but I'll keep it short.

The new director dimmed the lights on the set and made everything seem darker. Also his portrayal of certain aspects were very similar to how I imagined it in the book so PROPS! Not one adolescent in this movie can act, but they sure look the part. Helena Bonham Carter? Ace.
I think they stressed the whole LOVE WILL OVERCOME VOLDEMORT theme a bit too much but I have to admit this movie was better than the rest, which isn't saying much.

The 5th book was my least favorite, but I'm more concerned about The Deathly Hallows. Predictions...Harry will die. Snape is not evil. Draco will die. So will some muggles and Hagrid and Hermione and Lucius.

Basically all will die except the Weasleys who will take over the world with their gorgeous red locks.

And if you call that a cop out then you're absolutely right. I'm too tired to conspire.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Who really wins here?

The last thing I want to do is study for a standardized test. Unfortunately I also don't want to live in a maytag fridge box by the subway. So, my school has provided an easy and convenient way for me to study ONLINE!!!!!!! USING THE INTERNET!!!!
You should have seen the letter (old school snail mail) they sent to brag about their advanced technology. "Hey kids? do you use the interweb?!?"

Well I sure do! Of course, ability to use the internet isn't the problem. The problem is that my school must not understand how distracting it is. Sure I can complete a practice test in 108 minutes, but did you also know i could watch a rap video about Mac vs. PC in 4 minutes? Or check my email in 5 minutes? Or draw this little guy on paint in 6 seconds?

No. You probably didn't.