Monday, November 14, 2011

Danielle is 20

Which is significant because it means WE MADE IT.
Danielle, we made it. We spent our all our teenage years together. Every awkward moment, every embarrassing transition and rite of passage. Boys and prom and middle school and high school. And it was awful. And life is so wonderful now, you're so much cooler and stylish and free now. But life was wonderful back then too. Maybe we didn't do much, maybe we weren't impressive. But we certainly made it special.
Doing nothing with you by my side made adolescence bearable. So thank you.
Go do mad things now.
And with technology and memories and nostalgia, I'll be by your side.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

hopping (TUMBLING????) on the bandwagon

yeah, so I've been feeling guilty about not posting anything here for the past few months...but I am a lazy human being and tumblr unfortunately is much better suited for laziness. That being said...I dunno! I always like having the beluga on a backburner. That is all.

(see how accustomed I've come to putting zero effort into this? no good)


Saturday, August 21, 2010

too cool for these boots only

Oh hai.

Let's consider this a FASHION post! Danielle and I love clothing so I don't know why we never really talk about it. Okay. SHOES!

Shoes are serious business. When I see a pair that I like-I mean really zone in to from like across the street or if I see in a catalog- I will remember the name and have the image burned into my brain. I will google it and read consumer reports and do some serious research because I'm a little bit anal about good shoes. That's not to say that I won't indulge in the occasional $20.00 pair I see in Target. However, if I'm into a pair of shoes, or really any article of clothing, I am very loyal to the brand. My boat shoes WILL be Sperry Top-Siders. If one day I do get wayfarers they WILL be Ray Bans. Same for bags and what not.

Well recently I've been very into Doc Martens 1460s specifically the white pair.

I saw them on this super cool chick in school and I was practically drooling.

If you are raising your eyebrow it is because you know me and you know that I can't pull these shoes off. I have a style and it's just not that edgy. I'm not cool enough for these shoes. So I let my Doc Marten dream go. However I still had this itch for a pair of lace up, military style boots but in a much more conservative black. SOOOO I introduce my new pair of shoes to you:

OOOOOHHHH YEAAAAH. I'm like in love with them a little bit. They're so cool. I tried them on in the store and my mom just wasn't completely sold because they're still not really my style BUT I insisted I could pull them off. And you know what? I can. My argument is that I'm 18 and should still be able to wear uber kick ass shoes while I'm young. I feel like a different person when I wear them like tough and BAD ASS and really just great. Austin saw me in these shoes today and he said, "You look different. You're always cute but with those shoes you look hot"

So in the end this post is really just about how hot I look. But I guess I can also spin it and add that people may shit all over these materialistic people who love getting new clothes and having all the hottest items but while it's cool to be ascetic and live simply some clothes can just make you feel better. Hooray!

OH OH OH! And part two of this shoe story betrays the first part because the original pair of these shoes (and the photograph above) are by the one and only Jeffrey Campbell which means they should be like $200. However...and this is where it gets weird...the brand (Crown Vintage) I got was from DSW and totally sketchy and weird and after doing some serious research I found this:

"I do market intelligence research for a living, so my first instinct was to check who owns the trademark for Crown Vintage. The trademark is owned by DSW itself, so I'm guessing it's a cleverly-concealed store brand that just so happens to be ripping off Jeffrey Campbell. Still, they're incredibly cute- my 2 are some of my favorite pairs. Wish they sold them online!!"-anonymous chick on some forum

So yeah nuts!! I'm wearing cleverly-concealed Jeffrey Campbell rip offs! Like they literally look the EXACT same and I feel really horrible about it because I'm not for fakes but........they're still cute. And in my defense I wasn't looking for copyright infringement shoes. Maybe the fact that they could (and should) get sued just makes these boots even more B.A.

Monday, July 19, 2010

The shitty movie to shitty critic ratio is 1:10

I watched Youth in Revolt this weekend with my boyfriend. The weekend was fabulous. The movie? Dry, pretentious and fucking annoying. And so, whenever I watch a bad movie I like to hit up RottenTomatoes to read nasty reviews which are easily my favorite kind of reviews. Why? Because I thrive on hatred? No. Because I like it when people agree with me.

Anyways I couldn't help but notice the numerous times a critic has name dropped Holden Caulfield in reference to any other rebellious youth in the history of rebellious youths. Quote: your average Holden Caulfield fanatic will find his tale fun

So in the name of any proper Catcher in the Rye defender, I have to say what the fuck. Seriously? It's offensive but most of all it's just lazy. I'm not going to get into details about why Micheal Cera's turd-faced character is nothing like The Catcher in the Rye's but if movie critics are going to claim to be writers than they should start acting like them. That means referring to literary characters with a level of intelligence beyond Spark Notes. You wouldn't write about how fans of Lolita will find the pedophile in Little Children familiar so don't fuck up with Holden Caulfield.

What I'm saying is if Nick Twisp is Holden Caulfield than that little black dog really is Albert Camus.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


This blog post was going to be about summer updates but you know what I feel like writing about? EFFING DYKES

Can somebody please explain to me why I love this website so much? Why do I have such a blast reading about this promiscuous lesbian?

I was thinking it had something to do with that weird study they did a while ago where scientists (probably gay, btw) found out homophobes were secretly turned on by man on man action.

But I'm not a homophobe.

I root for gay people in the way that I root for any minority group struggling for human rights.
I mean...


where was I...

Oh yeah. Anyways this isn't about her being gay...actually it is. Mostly, she's hilarious and a great writer and is a pro at finding cool pictures on the internet to enhance posts. But I know a secret part of me is fascinated by this lifestyle that I will never be a part of. She loves women so's flattering! Krista talks about fucking and fantasizing about women. But she's a girl, so it's not disgusting or piglike. This is not a double standard because effing dykes talks about women in a way that straight girls WISH straight men would talk about women. Is that confusing?

What I'm saying's nice to be worshiped and awe-inspiring and desired and loved. So... much love to those who love.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

sticks in the throat

Me: I had this really great gelato at WholeFoods the other day, it was AWESOME.
Bear: Wait, what? Like, the women's shoe?
Me:....Not stiletto. Gelato.

Sunday, June 13, 2010


I don't know how I feel about this. There is nothing religious or too tree hugging about this aspect of my personality. I just feel really uncomfortable when I think about it.

I'm talking about killing bugs.

Don't get me wrong. I hate bugs. I think they're gross and creepy and if they weren't a significant part of our ecosystem and the earth's biodiversity I would be fine if they didn't exist. However, there is something unsettling about squishing a bug. I'm KILLING IT! I am ENDING IT'S LIFE. And sometimes I can't seem to shake that.

I mean, we can't be THAT arrogant to possibly think that it's okay to end a life just because they're gross. Right?

I don't know.
They are gross
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