spidey can't compete with this web.

the world wide web is zapping our brain cells. we are evolving into robots pathetically dependent on myspace and facebook.why do you think everyone is donning a fake tan? the glow from our computer screen is not emitting UV rays, and do you honestly think we'll head out into the sun?

now before you start nodding your head incessantly at this completely refreshing point of view, i will pull out my devil's advocate mask (which looks alot like my L.A. teacher)and tell you the number one reason i "fUkIn LUV the internetz!!11!!! LMAO!"

SHARING.

how else would i recieve my swedish imports if some handsome devil wasn't sitting by his computer, shoving his music through file sharing sites?

how else would millions of people (some more interesting than others) tell me about their day?

how else would i be able to see 12,325,123 videos about your dogs, or friends, or comedy routines?

how else would i get my porn?


seriously guys, stop complaining about how destructive the web is. we're all secretely addicted, why not make the most out of it?sure, people type like douche bags and have no social skills but if you keep your eyes open you'll find some cool things.


THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN MYSPACE aka MALLORY'S FAVORITE SITES/SIGHTS:

http://dooce.com/ oh no, another blog! oh wait, she's actually likeable. Fellow bloggers, take some notes and you might learn something.
http://cuteoverload.com/ who the fuck wants to see kittens and bunnies?!? I do.
http://grouphug.us/ like postsecret.com only unrated and without the pics.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ like grouphug.us only with pictures and less sex.
http://www.fabchannel.com/ wanna see your bands in concert? watch it here!
http://wearemonsters.blogspot.com/ you boppers listen to some cool tunes, huh?
http://tofuhaus.antville.org/ a search engine for music blogs. do not fear the germans!
http://www.pixelgirlshop.com/ you'll get tired of people pointing at your stuff and saying how cute it is.
http://threadless.com/ t-shirts don't get any better than this
http://haikucircus.com/ Sakamoto's poetry keeps it real
http://indietits.com/ sorry fellas, tits as in birds. really snobby birds.
http://www.americandecency.org/index.php always fun to see what christian conservatives are up to these days, check out their campaigns.
http://blackpeopleloveus.com/ racism is NOT COOL, okay Imus?
http://3191.visualblogging.com/index.html joint photography project. beautiful idea.
http://indexed.blogspot.com/ what they should be teaching us in basic geometry
http://rks.f2g.net/ mailbox feeling lonely?
http://myspace.com/haveyourfits woah that chick is flyyyyy. (Mallory)
http://www.myspace.com/elvenmage91 with a love like that, you know you should be glad! [Danielle]


-M.
(edited by D.)

First Impressions

Georgia font because we're peachy. Fo realz, yo.

who are these magical figures typing up this blog?

I am Mallory, and the girl sitting next to me is Danielle. We are wonderful children trapped in the suburbs. Bear with us.

The tarp over Danielle's pool looks like a giant TRAMPoline. yeah i would love to jump on it but i dont feel like falling into the murky abyss she calls her pool.

Who are you? Tell me a little bit about yourself.

If our readers are having trouble distinguishing who is who ( if there ARE any readers out there) just remember Danielle is usually writing nothing in general and will probably have a very sardonic tone. Mallory on the other hand is a bit more formal....and appreciates the use of outdated slang, you dig? "Lies!" Danielle claims. Bummer.

"Type, woman!" says Mallory. "Sexist bastard!!" says Danielle.

umm okay First Impressions: right now we probably come off as pretty obnoxious, but shut the fudge up for all you know i could be a 40 year old man who still lives with his mother. speaking of which, we both do.

"we love our maahthurs"

Okay Danielle is having doubts but like i said before: Bear with us.