S.H.I.T. #8

Since Halloween is barely over, there are piles and piles of candy everywhere. I've been accustomed to pick up a piece, unwrap it, and pop it in my mouth whenever the urge strikes me because many people don't mind just giving their candy away. However, I'm forgetting that grocery stores don't really follow that train of thought.

S.H.I.T. #8: Unwrapping and eating candy while waiting in line at the grocery store.

S.H.I.T. #7

Ok, to be fair...

S.H.I.T. #7: assuming that people can hear what I type and what is so vividly imprinted on my mind. I suppose I must spin off of Mallory's idea and catch her on video. Then, the YAWN will be revealed...

PS-I'm off to travel the world again, this time to Seattle for a few days, and then I take a boat to British Colombia to climb up and down a mountain and not shower for a week. Simultaneously!

S.H.I.T. #6

Since it has appeared that Mallory has stopped doing S.H.I.T's, I will make one for her.

S.H.I.T. #6: Singing while yawning.

She claims that she likes to make the mundane more interesting, or something like that, but who is she kidding! I do not understand why one cannot simply go, "ah, ah, ahhh, AAAAHHHWWWWwww..."

To me, that is plenty not-mundane. But no! it must be, "ah, ah! ah, uh, ah, ah, ah AHHHWWWahh ah!!"


(the use of double exclamation points, a practice usually discouraged, is fully permissable in this situation.)

S.H.I.T. # 5

This one seems pretty self-explanatory but I'm going to explain anyways. Most people zone out when they find themselves caught in a conversation about shampoo or grocery shopping or anything particularly uninteresting. I-on the other broken hand-could be in a crucial conversation about saving someones life or about my future. It doesn't matter how important the conversation is because eventually I will start to wonder should I be switching shampoos now? My hair has lost some of its shine...you know I'm also going to tell mum to pick up some pop-tarts the next time she's at the grocery store...

This habit has gotten me into some trouble in the past and will undoubtedly hurt me in the future. To anyone who thinks of me as rude, inadequate or boring...I was probably:

#5-Zoning out or daydreaming during the conversation

S.H.I.T. # 4

Since it is a common fact that soda is a disgusting and deadly beverage, I usually opt for the healthier drinks such as Orange-mango, grapefruit juice, peach cider-



I have quickly learned that fruit juices are heavenly but they also require a little shake from their consumer. You can guess that after my transition to juice, shaking has become second nature, so on those rare occasions when I am handed an ice cold Coca-cola... things get messy.

#4- Shaking the Coke can

S.H.I.T. # 3

I don't remember when this first started but a few weeks ago I came out of the water to find Danielle laughing hysterically. Apparently, before I head underwater, I make a strange noise.

"OHMMMMM" and down I go for my signature breaststroke (I should change this sentence but I trust my readers aren't as perverted as I am).

What I forgot to explain to Danielle was that that "OHMM" was simply my mantra. It's comforting to hum when I'm swimming underwater. Is this common? I hope so.

#3- Humming underwater

S.H.I.T. # 2

The living room couch is my ideal place for reading. It is also my ideal place for napping. Sometimes my napping immedietly follows my reading. The result is Stephen King's On Writing poking my back while I have nightmares of being stabbed.


#2- sleeping with hardcover books

S.H.I.T. # 1

This is the beginning of a list I have decided to make. It is called "Strange Habits I'm Developing" although now that i think about it, it would be cleverer (is that right?) to call it "Strange Habits I've Taken (up)" that way the acronym will be SHIT! Yes, I am 15 years old and I do think it is funny to say SHIT. Okay here it goes.


# 1- Saying "fo realz yo" without any hint of irony.