would you like some creamy pumpkin ointment?

Danielle's previous post about wordplay had me thinking about words in general. Some are better than others and it is okay to have favorites.
Here are mine:

BUTTER

CREAM

PUMPKIN

PHANTASMAGORIA

I just want to wrap myself in those words and fall asleep!

Words that are not so wonderful:

OINTMENT

ENTITY

JUGULAR

BOSS

INTERNET

sanctimonious indie fascits

This made me think. I think it's very true, and I love Kevin Barnes very very much. It's very insightful and worth the read.

"People who want to be artists have it the hardest time of it 'cause we are held up to these impossible standards. We are expected to die penniless and insane so that the people we have moved and entertained can keep us to themselves. So that they can feel a personal and untarnished connection with our art. The second we try to earn a living wage, or god forbid, promote our art in the mainstream, we are placed under the knives of the sanctimonious indie fascits."

Selling Out Isn't Possible

Make like a tree and shed your leaves so I can rake them

NOVEMBER!! It has been a while since I've written in this blog. I don't know what it was about today that made me check it and what did i find? A plethora of posts from my dearest Danielle! If I recall correctly she was the one who never wrote a thing. She would tell me, "There's just nothing to write about" and then she would proceed to tell me a quirky story about her family. PSHH. Frankly, as long as anyone writes about themselves, there is ALWAYS something to say.
Back to me:
I apologize for the temporary abandonment. School has been hectic but life has been very enjoyable lately and I regret not keeping any record of it. Danielle is sixteen now! Her birthday was on the 14th. There was cake. There was a card full of sincere, heart-warming truths that I'm too embarrassed to repeat now...

ANYWAYS the day Danielle turned sixteen was also the day I received my permit, and with that permit I am going to head into town to run... I mean DRIVE some errands.
-Mallory

professionalist

Can you make a living as a reader? Whenever people ask me what I want to be when I grow up, I give them a bemused look and make things generally uncomfortable until they get it and walk away. Artwork, music, and literature admirer? Mallory just figured out that she wants to be a museum curator, which sounds marvelous when someone asks you that dreadful question. I need to start coming up with original replies. "Egg-Hatcher," for example, or "Riceberg Creator." Or I could hit the emotional spot and say "happy," but that's kinda lame. Ideas?

This made me feel more optimistic about my future. If all else fails, I can always ship myself to Turkey and mine the filling they use in Hot Pockets. (linked from dooce)

wordplay

sometimes i wish i wrote things down on the spot so i wouldn't have to wrack my befuddled brains to remember these things:

location: my kitchen
subject: me dumping an unnaturally load of fluffy white rice on my placte

m: WHOA. that's a LOT of rice. it's like...like an iceberg of rice.

[brief pause while both of think furiously of ways to turn those words to make it funny..our eyes meet..]

d+m: A RICEBERG!! OF RICE!!

[laughter insues for the next three hours]

don't judge me

i have this terrible habit of obsessivly stalking/acquiring/listening/eating these things til i just can't anymore, and i forget about them forever. i just add to this list all the time. this list dates way back from age 7. right now, my current obsessions are cheesecake, david bowie, hyper death babies, double-stuffed oreos, kevin barnes, spectator shoes, skinny jeans, and toothpaste for dinner.


1. general hospital
2. herbs
3. spice girls
4. hyper death babies
5. wolves
6. coldplay
7. lord of the rings
8. orlando bloom
9. death cab for cutie
10. of montreal/ kevin barnes
11. harry potter
12. star wars
13. animorphs
14. the baby-sitters club
15. living on my own in the wilderness (inspired by julie of the wolves, brians winter, my side of the mountain)
16. fairies/elves
17. black clothing
18. johnny depp
19. double-stuffed oreos
20. horoscopes/dream-interpreting
21. writing in the elvish language invented by tolkein
22. the chronicles of narnia
23. thinking i could draw elves
24. cheesecake
25. pumpkin pie
26. bagels with grotesque amounts of cream cheese
27. toothpaste for dinner
28. swords/archery
29. hunting
30. the military
31. specific boys
32. ramen noodles
33. dooce
34. myspace/facebook
35. butterfly hairclips
36. anything by tamora pierce
37. eating weird plants that i read were edible
38. edward scissorhands
39. skinny jeans
40. david bowie
41. Junior from the band Junior Senior (this obsession was born about 15 minutes ago after watching a live youtube concert video. oh god.)
42. astronomy
43. bird-watching
44. whale-saving

duh

my piano is terribly aging, so i asked my darling mother the other day to call a piano tuner to tune it for the first time since we bought it, which is a good ten years ago from a garage sale. i am aware that i deserve to be trampled by a rabid grand for waiting so long, but i am powerless to the whims of my flitting mind. well, her response was to tell me to call the piano tuner for the church that we visit sundays, and i asked her why she specifically chose that one. her response reminded me of why i still hang around with her.

"well, if he tunes the piano at the church, that means that he's a christian, so he wont overcharge us!"

a step short of idoltry

yesterday my parents had to go to my kid brothers parent-teacher conference, and when they came back my mothers eyes were wet. my brother is one of the rare little kids that's SOOPER sensitive, thoughtful, considerate, and just all-around pretty neat. she motioned me over and told me that his teacher told her that my brother managed to talk about me at least oh, about 76 times every day, and these comments have all come out of his mouth at some point or the other [during the morning announcements]:
"my sister is the smartest person in the world"
"my sister listens to the best music in the world"
"my sister knows everything"
"my sister is in high school"
"my sister is the best"
"my sister works at the vets"
"my sister is a TEENAGER"
"my sister is my best friend"
"i love my sister alot."

his teacher asked my mother how on earth she managed to make us get along. my mother shrugged, baffled, and told her to ask my brother. his teacher responded, "I did. and he said that it was very easy. to quote him: 'I just give her a hug and i love her alot and like the music that she does. she's my hero.' "

the way to my heart is clear.

Bee boops soon to come

I have recieved the coveted synthesizer for my early birthday/christmas present. It's one of the more beautiful things that has been present in my life. There are so many choices of sounds to make and listen to, and it doesn't help that the brilliant bastards* who packaged my baby conveniently forgot to include an instruction manual. Yes, I am one of those cats who falls apart without a manual, but I am managing. Pictures soon to come.

On a side note, I managed to integrate this into a quiet point of my conversation today.



*I write "brilliant bastards" with frustrated affection.

sounds reasonable

kyle: "I want to get a pipe organ."
me: "why?"
kyle: "so people can come over and be like, is that a chimney? and i can be all like, naw man, that's a pipe organ."